The Spino, the Witch and the Loofah?
by SpiritVegeta
Summary: A witch from Goku's past comes back to take vengeance, although he honestly has never meet her before. She almost succeeds. Almost. She just had to underestimate Vegeta. A DBZ/Bleach/Attack on Titan crossover. Short Story. Warning: Some language.


Hello! I know, been a while, I've just been SO busy with work and STILL trying to recover everything I lost when my old computer died- seriously I had A LOT of material already done and saved but when that computer died I had to start from scratch!

I'm still on a bit of a hiatus cuz of my work schedule.

Part time: Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. I work at an auto auction and my job is driving cars from A to B to get them ready for said auction, sometimes even running in the auction. I'm also one of the very few outside of the Crew Leaders who know how to work our scanning equipment and know where everything needs to go soooo... yeah...

In the summer, hours are not solid. One week I could get up to 24 hours, the next 14-18.

In the winter, oh well that's different! Busiest season! I start at 7am and, throughout this winter I left consistently at 6pm- that's 11 hours each day! Even if everyone else was still working, by 6pm both my mind and my body just said "Bitch, we're done!" That and I knew those hours were gonna stack up on me and I'd have to later pay for it.

And that brings us here. Cuz I've accumulated too many hours, I can't work at all on Thursday and can only work half of Tuesday for the next two months. I'm both happy and not so happy.

Happy: Finally some REAL time off.

Not happy: Pay depends on hours- argo less hours, less pay. P

Plus, I'm gonna be honest with you... I've also been busy with other things... Like games.

SO MANY great new games have been coming out! I'm IN LOVE with Red Dead 2! Plus I've been playing Monster Hunter: World (I know old but new to me), Days Gone, The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (Again I know old but still new to me), the latest Attack on Titan DLC, Jurassic World Evolution, Resident Evil 2 Remake, Kingdom Hearts 3 and more!

And movies! Oh my god! Captain Marvel! The Lion King Remake! Godzilla: King of the Monsters! How To Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World! I even watched Avengers Endgame **3** times! First time was purely to see it, then my father dragged me to see it again 2 more times.

And kittens! Sadly my old kitty Angel had to be put down, been my best friend for 18 years *sniff. Held her to the very end too. After half of a year we decided to get another kitten, or should I say kitten**s**. A brother and sister. Orange and white tabbies, two years old now. The brother is Spicey, and he is FAAAT! 19 pounds. His sister is Tara (Pronounced Terra cuz my mother likes weird names- That's why my name, Valarie, is spelled with two a's) and her name is short for 'terrible terror' cuz she is a hyper one! But I finally have a lap kitty, Tara loves nothing more.

That's been my life so far. Hectic. But thanks to the time off, I was able to do this quick short story! I literally woke up from a dream and this was that dream. Last night (of when I published this) I had to wake up very early to go to an appointment and I was having this very dream. It was so funny that it woke me up before my alarm and sleep is one of the things I DEEPLY enjoy! So in the two hours I had before I had to leave, I wrote the whole story! Word for word!

Enjoy!

**Warning: **Some use of language.

* * *

**The Spino, the Witch and the… Loofah?**

Over the years the Z-Fighters have accumulated quite a number of enemies, ranging from ordinary gunmen to over powered tyrants. Though there is one group that seems to avoid them. Witches and Wizards. Perhaps there just isn't enough of these magic wielders to encounter. Or perhaps… they've learned from the few that any attempt to do anything ill-mannered against the Z-Fighters ends badly for them. In which case one would ask where'd they learn this avoidance. Well… A witch from Goku's youth has returned to seek vengeance for something the saiyan really can't remember doing. But, as always, her attempt backfired in the end due to the underestimating of yet another saiyan.

The witch, just simply called Yen, had successfully trapped the Z-Fighters outside of Goku in a magic cage of sorts. She thought of it all. They try to even dig themselves out and they'll be fried crispy. Goku himself was robbed of his powers and strength, standing there as an ordinary human in some aspects. Yen was confident of her success. So confident that when Vegeta came charging at her with a roar, she didn't think twice about using her magic to shrink him down to the size of a cockroach.

Yen: "Ha-ha-ha!"

In an attempt to try and counter this, Vegeta used his power and transformed into his spinosaurus form, even going all out and increasing his height to max. But even with that… he just ended up the size of a tiny puppy.

Yen: "Oh now look at you! Aren't you just as adorable as a puppy!"

And that's when it all started going wrong for Yen, cuz even someone at this size can be the biggest pain in the ass. Yen tied the spino up as if he was a puppy and started making Goku her personal servant. The prince eyed intently on one thing, Yen's wand. If they could snatch that and destroy it, everything would be undone. But the witch was clever. She knew that the wand was the thing they'd try and get so she kept it in a place she thought they normally wouldn't reach for… in her bra. Have to hand it to Yen, she was smart. But so was Vegeta. While the witch went about humiliating Goku, Vegeta looked around. This woman was far from the stereotypical witch living in dark nasty places brewing potions and spells kind of scene. Instead she was very adamant on clean, tidy and generally fancy things to the pointy where it was just gaudy. The spino then had an idea. Maybe he can use that against her, dignity and pride fuck shit at this point. By convenience Yen had tied him to an ordinary house plant.

And that's where it all started.

Both Yen and Goku turned around when they heard a thud. The spino had knocked the plant over, spilling all of the dirt out onto the floor. He then proceeded in rolling around in it and creating just a general mess. Oh how that struck a nerve.

Yen: "HEY! Enough! Stop!"

Goku snickered at the sight, quickly realizing what Vegeta was doing; everything and anything to get at her goat! But the dirt was only making her mad enough to lash out verbally. He needed to do more.

Yen: "Bad, boy! Bad!"

Ok you wanna treat me like a puppy, I'll behave like a puppy, Vegeta thought. Potty training not included. The spino stood against the wall, lifted up a leg and well… you get the idea. Goku was thrown into a fit of laughter while Yen into a fit of rage! She then transported the spino to a solitary room: her bathroom. And that's where she really messed up. As he looked around the even gaudier bathroom, oh the potential for mayhem just kept flowing in. He started, quietly, with her soaps. Back in her main living space, Yen was busy taking her vengeance out on Goku, who still can't remember what he had done to her.

Yen: "This'll be how things are for the rest of your miserable life, so get used to it."

Goku: "Yeah, about that- what did I do to you? I don't recall ever meeting you."

Yen: "No, but you did hurt me. You single handedly defeated the Red Ribbon Army, the only place that I felt at home with."

Goku: "Wait a minute… You were with the Red Ribbon Army?"

Yen: "That's correct."

Goku: "Seriously, when am I going to be done with the whole Red Ribbon revenge fiasco? Then how come I never encountered you?"

Yen: "I was busy elsewhere. But that doesn't change a thing."

Goku: "Actually there was never a 'thing' to begin with."

Yen: "You aren't even curious why a witch was working with the Red Ribbon Army?"

Goku: (Swiftly and blunt) "No- no, I-I really just don't care."

Goku was more or less just done with anything in regards to the Red Ribbon Army, so much so that he didn't even care anymore and who can blame him. Everything stopped when they heard a noice coming from another room. Knowing that the saiyan turned spino was up to something, Yen raced down towards her bathroom. When she opened the door, she was welcomed by a sight. The entire bathroom was covered in all her soaps, shampoos, toothpaste, and more! Goku soon joined her, wondering what Vegeta had done. But what really pissed Yen off was what she found in the sink. The water was running and there was the mini spino, taking a mini shower. But that's not what pissed her off. What pissed her off was…

Yen: "THAT'S MY TOOTHBRUSH!"

The Spinosaurus Vegeta was using her toothbrush as a loofah. Scrubbed his foot and then scrubbed his colorful sail.

And all the while, doing it with a toothy toothy grin.

Goku just down right burst out in hysterical laughter! Yen however was in a fit of rage!

Yen: "I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU!"

But before she could do anything else, the spino suddenly pounced! He started climbing up her leg, sending Yen in a frenzy of screams! As he climbed over her back, she tried to shake him off! All the while Goku was standing there laughing his head off. In her frenzy, Yen failed to notice until too late the spino reaching down and snatching her wand from her bra! Again dignity and pride fuck shit at this point, Vegeta thought! They were in a situation that called for it! Wand in hand- er, mouth, Vegeta jumped down and ran for it!

Yen: "Why you little-"

And Yen took off after him with Goku close behind!

Goku: "Run, Vegeta! Don't stop, just keep running!"

The spino and his tiny legs ran for all his worth. In a bipedal state he wasn't very fast, all that muscle and bulk hindering his speed. But he's learned how to run with his arms even with those giant claws while in this form, giving him better speed and maneuverability. He could have destroyed the wand himself right then and there if not for the fact that he was no bigger than a month old puppy and had a witch hot on his tail. Meanwhile, the trapped Z-Fighters were still held up in Yen's lab. They've been trapped down here this whole time so they had no idea what was going on. All they knew was they were trapped, Goku was literally powerless and Vegeta had been shrunk. All of a sudden, they look up upon hearing an odd noice. Just then a tiny yet familiar Spinosaurus came running in with a wand in its mouth.

Krillin: "Hey, isn't that Vegeta?"

Tien: "What's going on?"

Suddenly Yen came running in and in such a rage! She started trying to grab the spino, only for Vegeta to only just avoid getting snatched. It looked cartoonish, but hey… ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Yen: "Give me my wand back, you little shit!"

The Z-Fighters suddenly started cheering.

Piccolo: "That's it, Vegeta!"

Krillin: "Keep going, don't stop!"

Gohan: "You can do it!"

In an attempt to hide from her, the spino crawled under one of her large lab equipment, one she couldn't possibly move on her own without help. The space under here was nasty, dust and cobwebs galore. Panting from his run, Vegeta just watched the only opening which Yen was guarding. Suddenly… he realized he wasn't alone under here. Dozens of big spiders and other insects started to approach the tiny beast in a hungry manner. The spino stared at them all, particularly the largest spider that seemed to be leading the fray. It clicked its fangs in anticipation, believing it would finally have a worthy meal. Just one problem with that… The spino calmly took the wand out of his mouth and held it with his claw. He just stared at the spider with a blank expression for a few seconds… before opening that long snout and flashing **all** of those one hundred plus sharp pearly whites.

Yen: "You can't hide under there forever!"

Right on cue dozens even thousands of spiders, ants, cockroaches, and more came rushing out from under the machine, all running away from the spino! Yen looked at the scene and gave a scream worthy of a horror flic! Amidst the chaos, the spino seized the chance to make his escape. He dashed out from under the machine while Yen was busy stomping bugs. He had to get somewhere safe, but where? The answer called out his name.

"Vegeta- over here!"

Fed up with it all, Yen put her foot down!

Yen: "That's it! Where is that little pest?! I'll shrink him down some more and then I'll squash him like the pesky bug that he is right in front of you all! Then we'll see if you want to try anything again!"

Goku: "Looking for this?"

Yen turned around and to her horror there stood Goku with the tiny spino in one arm and her wand in his other hand. Vegeta, in a rarity, was tired- running like that in this form and at this size was exhausting. But safely in Goku's arm, he just growled and grinned. Goku, on the other hand, was not happy and taking gradual steps towards the witch with her own wand pointed at her, he had Yen begging.

Yen: "Please, Goku… I beg you!"

Goku: "For what? My friends and I didn't do anything to you and yet here you are- robbed me of my powers, entrapped my son and friends in a magic cage and to top it off you just threatened to kill my friend here after treating him like some mangy mutt- why should I be merciful?"

Yen: "Please, I… I swear I won't do it again… I-I'll leave and never return! I promise!"

Goku: "Oh you're gonna do more than that. You go tell any other Red Ribbon survivors to leave me, my family, my friends and their families the fuck alone! I'm tired of this! If it wasn't me, it would've been someone else anyway! So tell everyone to just let it go already!"

Yen: "I swear! I swear I'll tell everyone!"

Goku: "And if you ever show your face again… If Vegeta here wants to kill you… I ain't gonna stop him. You got it?"

Yen: "Yes!… Yes, I-I got it!…"

Goku: "Good."

And snap. Goku broke the wand in half and that was that.

**~End Flashback~**

The pen fell onto the desk as Toushiro just sat there, eyes and mouth open wide with utter blankness. Goku sat there with his classic goofy smile and Vegeta just stretched his head, not at all embarrassed by the tale- still firmly believing that he did what he had to do therefore he had no shame. On the sofa, both Eren and Levi sat there in pretty much the same state as Toushiro. The silence was almost eerie… And then Eren snorted before bursting out in laughter! He was soon followed by more laughter!

Toushiro: "Y-You really did that, Vegeta?! Ah-ha! You really did that?!"

Vegeta: "Oh yeah, I did all that."

Goku: "I'm sorry but I meant to ask, did you wash behind your neck spines?"

Vegeta: (With a genuine smile) "And in-between my toes."

Goku himself couldn't hold back a laugh and neither could Vegeta. The whole thing was so funny that all of them were in hysterical fits of laughter. Toushiro, Goku, Vegeta, Eren, Levi- **LEVI!** Levi himself was in a frenzy of laughter- it was that hilarious!

Eren: (In-between fits of laughter) "C-Captain, I!… I can't breathe!"

Levi: (Leaning on Eren and in the same state) "Me too- Ah-ha-ha-"

Those two were laughing so hard that their stomachs started to hurt. Face down on his desk poor Toushiro could barely think of words to say.

Toushiro: "You two!… I swear!…"

After regaining some control, Goku took the opportunity to ask something he's been wondering.

Goku: "I-I completely get why you did all of that, creating all of that mess and using her toothbrush to scrub yourself- you were fucking with her mind good and thorough and I loved every moment of it! But what was with the, uh… 'leg' scenario?"

Vegeta: "I'm gonna be honest with you, Kakarot, I did that out of spite- you wanna treat me like a mangy mutt, I'll gladly behave like a mangy mutt and depending on the severity of said treatment will depend on if I come 'potty trained' or not- HA!"

And all five of them burst out laughing again. It was a funny story, but it also had a few lessons worth learning.

The lessons here are:

Don't piss off Goku.

Don't mess with the Z-Fighters and such.

And, most importantly, don't fuck with Vegeta- cuz he'll turn around and fuck with you right back and then some- dignity and pride fuck shit and all!

The End.


End file.
